10 Herbs For Grief And Loss

Grief and loss hit hard and unexpectedly for us all. Part of this human experience is loss, and in this current climate in the world, many people are experiencing profound loss. As many of you know, we recently lost our grandson, and our family has been deep in the throes of grieving. There is no one way to grieve, and this blog will not tell you the “right” way to do it. There is no “right” way. Our family is large, and not one of us has grieved this loss the same way, but everyone has found their way. Give yourself and those around you some grace as they process.

Outside of our personal loss, in the world right now, there are the losses from the pandemic, the war, endless and senseless gun deaths here in the US, and countless other losses. I do not know anyone who has navigated these last few years with loss touching their lives. I think it is important to say that while these tangible and physical losses are significant, grieving also comes in more abstract ways. We are all grieving the world we wished we lived in, and this sort of abstract grief is just as valid and complex as the more tangible grief. Thankfully, while we work through this pain, our plant allies are there to support us on this journey. These herbs will not “fix it” or make it better; they will give you extra tools in your bag and support your mind, body, and spirit as you travel the road of grief.

Albizia julibrissin, Mimosa

The silky pink and white blooms of the Mimosa tree have been used as medicine for thousands of years. This plant is trendy in Traditional Chinese Medicine. I love Albizia julibrissin for matters of the heart involving grief, loss, and pain. This uplifting plant can bring a sense of peace and even a dash of happiness as you work through complex emotions and experiences. It offers a beautiful sense of balance when everything feels like it is spinning out of control. I like to add Albizia julibrissin to teas, steams, and baths. Albizia julibrissin can be pretty sedative so use caution when combining with any additional sleep aides.

Rosa spp., Rose

Roses are standard in floral arrangements at funerals or sent to grieving people, but their ability to support loss does not end in the aesthetic appeal. Rose is such an excellent plant for those processing trauma and grief; it is gentle and grounding and cools the heat of pain so well. I love to have rose water on hand in a spray bottle; misting your face or pillow can offer instant comfort. Rose is also delicious in teas, salads, and tinctures. A soothing bath with rose and lavender can make a world of difference.

Withania somnifera, Ashwagandha

Ashwagandha has become very popular and can be found in most stores in capsule form. Ashwagandha is a widespread herbal remedy in Ayurveda and has been used for centuries as an aphrodisiac and to help with anxiety and reduce inflammation. Another lovely benefit of using Ashwagandha while grieving is its beautiful immune system support. When your mind and body suffer, you are much more susceptible to illness. While you can pick up a bottle of capsules from your local store, I find the newly made capsules and teas from the leaves more powerful.

Artemisia absinthium, Wormwood

Wormwood has been used medicinally since medieval Europe for various issues and was a popular ingredient in the creation of the alcoholic drink, Vermouth. Wormwood is helpful for depression and people who have experienced the harshest sides of life. There has been some concern with the overuse of Wormwood; it was even outlawed in the US for a time, but it can be safe if used appropriately. This is not a plant you should use daily or often, but I find a drop of the tincture once a week very helpful.

Solidago canadensis, Goldenrod

I think Goldenrod is a dose of sunshine for the body and soul. It is uplifting and lightens things while grief is weighty. I like Goldenrod for its warming and comforting nature. It is the herbal equivalent of sitting in a warm blanket in the sun. It envelops you and gives you that sense of support and comfort needed while grieving. It has a slightly bitter taste that can be softened with honey in tea.

Inula helenium, Elecampane

Elecampane is a versatile plant that has been used for centuries, especially in Europe, and is terrific for many things due to it’s warming and stimulating nature. Elecampane is traditionally used for breathing concerns such as asthma and bronchitis, but I find it very useful for those who feel loss has knocked the breath out of them or feel the floor has been pulled out from underneath them. Elecampane root is quite bitter, and many do not like it as a tea but tolerate the tincture well.

Prunella vulgaris, Self-Heal

Self-Heal says it all right in it’s name; it is terrific for healing our inner selves. It has long been used in traditional herbal medicines in Asia and Europe, usually for mucosal concerns. This plant, when used as a flower essence, is so great for those grieving a loss that feels insurmountable. It helps you draw on your inner reserve of strength to continue even when you think you cannot. A flower essence is also a very gentle aide, so it is not overwhelming to the person as they heal.

Viscum album, Mistletoe

Mistletoe is popular around Christmas and Yule, but it is not just the plant you kiss under; it offers much more healing. Druid and Celtic healers have long honored and valued this plant. It works to calm the nervous system and is very powerful. Mistletoe helps open you up when a loss makes you feel closed down and unable to breathe. It is a plant of wisdom and compassion, which we all need while healing. Mistletoe is best in tincture form in a low dosage. Mistletoe should be avoided in pregnancy and not taken with asthma medications.

Lactuca canadensis, Wild Lettuce

Wild Lettuce is a widespread plant you have probably come across in your yard or garden and regarded as a weed. This is a calming and supportive plant often used for insomnia, depression, and even shock. The leaves can be cooked and consumed like spinach, but for ease of medicinal use, I like to use this as a tincture. It makes the medicine more easily accessible and portable. As with all the sedative herbs we discuss, you want to use extreme caution in combining Wild Lettuce with other sleep aids.

Lilium longiflorum, Easter Lily

Easter Lilies are favored herbs in Traditional Chinese Medicine, although we often associate them with spring floral arrangements. The flowers made into a flower essence in the sunshine offer so much light in the dark of pain and loss. The flowers help us open up and find the strength to let go of our grief, knowing that does not mean we let go of those we love who have passed on. Letting go is incredibly hard and painful, so I advise a minimal dose of the flower essence, so you do not feel things too intensely.

Be really gentle with yourselves while grieving, and remember there is no timeline, and you do not have to get over it to make other people more comfortable. Grief is painful, and people can be uncomfortable with your pain, but the best way to honor your loss and heal is to give yourself and others the space to feel it all. Get out there, get wild, and heal.